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getting kinky
lost in a forest
amw
Yesterday morning i took it easy, soaking up the luxury of this hotel room. I'm beginning to get that pressured feeling again, because once i'm in Europe i have to work to someone else's schedule instead of my own - i need to spend some time with dad, and i need to see mom while she's in town for Oma's birthday trip (which means seeing Oma and the rest of the family too). Trying to organize travel times that suit them is stressing me out and i just want to say fuck it and stay in Berlin and go to some parties and let my vacation play out as it will. All these obligations and plans and family shit is exactly what i hate in life, and although i knew it was something i'd have to do at some point, i didn't think it would be making me quite so anxious. I hate that it's taking so much of my emotional energy right now when i should be enjoying my last few moments in North America.

Which isn't to say i haven't been enjoying it. After my lazy start yesterday, i went next door for chilaquiles, then headed out for a walk round South Bronx. I didn't stray terribly far from the main streets, given the reputation of the neighborhood, but aside from one shady character who i wouldn't even have given a second thought in Toronto, it was pretty tame - people out enjoying the sun, parents walking their kids, construction workers buying fruit from passing vendors (it's like Mexico all over again!)... I was a little bummed i didn't see any spectacular graffiti; whether that's gentrification or me being in the wrong hood i don't know, though i guess it's harder to impress in the 21st century when street art has become so mainstream worldwide.

At 2 i hit my first Broadway show, Kinky Boots. The story was pretty formulaic, and drag queens don't feel nearly as "kinky" for me as they might for some of the audience, but the costumes were absolutely fabulous, and it was fun to see some vogue-inspired dancing on stage. The more rock musicals i watch, the more i long for sequins and feathers and jazz hands, but i guess that went out of style with poverty and Hitler, so i'll take the glamor where i can get it - a handful of numbers featuring drag queens in vinyl thigh boots is a good start.

I escaped the theater district as quickly as i could, and after a beer pit-stop in some random Irish pub i headed on to the Lower East Side where i wandered around aimlessly until theda_b came downtown. It was really nice to wander at my own pace all day - for the first time i got to enjoy New York the way i wanted to, which meant without some chick in my ear saying she's hungry or tired or scared or wants to go shopping somewhere shit. When T arrived we had some Ukrainian food, then headed down to a local goth club, where we showed up so unfashionably early it might have come right back round to cool. People started filtering in around midnight, and by 2 it was remarkably busy for a school night. New York City, keeping at least the "city that never sleeps" part of its reputation alive.

It occurred to me in my Adidas and blue jeans that the last time i went to a goth club i was still in Brisbane. It might even have been the night we did the candy raver invasion and i sliced my finger open on a broken beer glass, causing me to bleed all over the bar and make all the puffy-shirted vampires cream their pants. Puffy-shirted vampires aren't cool any more (or not in New York anyways). There were assorted people in fetish gear, plus the usual band t-shirt "i'm only here for the music" crowd, but the highlights were the kids in doll-sized top hats and outrageous hairdoes and make-up, looking like they'd just stepped out of a Harajuku fashion shoot, and it was fabulous. Much like Indiana, it was also fun to see people so excited about a bunch of music i've never heard. Well, if you can call mouthing-the-lyrics-silently-while-dancing-like-a-tree "excited".

In reality the crowd was pretty eclectic and it was the perfect place to spend my last night in America - surrounded by all sorts of different characters bopping around to a bunch of rock music i don't know. America in a nutshell for me - always feeling somewhat of the outsider, but loving the spectacle of it all. Vacation fatigue hit me "early", though, so i ducked out after 2 sometime and lazily took a cab home. This morning i woke to a lightning storm, grabbed a coffee, then proceeded to sit in bed procrastinating by writing this entry. I don't want to leave America! I don't want to have to organize family shit. Sure, i love them and all, but if leaving those mountains in Mexico was a come-down, this is fucking suicide Tuesday. I want to fly forever.
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