But this Monday is different. This Monday i'm up before 8:30am not to avoid the cold shower of doom (side-effect of living in a McMansion where they skimp on plumbing expenses: when the washer is on you can't shower). This Monday i am up to do some work before going downtown to meet J and head on to the mall to spend our wedding checks on home furnishings for our new place.
The work i am doing is a paper for one of my classes. It's a bunch of fucking bullshit. The last time i had to write a paper like this was probably 10 years ago. See, at work when you write a design document or a memo or a release notes you have to be as concise and precise as possible. Headings and bullet points and numbered lists are critical, because most people reading your stuff just want the meat and could care less about the garnish. One thing managers, software developers and users all have in common - they share a profound dislike for flowery prose. That stuff is relegated to legal and marketing. So i am very much not used to padding my shit.
Even when i write here in this journal, which is my most regular writing practice at the moment, i tend to draft an entry and then go back and edit it down to as small as possible. I know it may be hard to believe when you see me ramble on for paragraphs, but i'm always conscious of the fact no one actually wants to read Kerouac here. If you want that you can email me.
So, papers with a page requirement. How utterly contrived. I'm not really in a position to do original research, and that's not really the point of this assignment anyway, so somehow i need to take my topic and actually obfuscate the useful information with enough fluff that it reaches the minimum page requirement. Waffles, anyone? Honestly. The irony is that this is no ivory tower university course, it's a fucking cooking class at a community college. No doubt the assignment requirements are there to encourage students to approach their trade more cerebrally or something, but in that case it's just demeaning. Blar.