amw (amw) wrote,

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money money money

It's J's birthday and i can't afford to do anything special. Originally she was going to be working tonight so i didn't even line up evening plans. Now she swapped shifts we are going to do the Friday Night Dinner thing with family. The original backup family dinner (Sunday) is still on too. I feel like i'm failing J by not being able to get her stuff on her birthday. I guess my gift this year is going to be to conquer my anxiety enough to smile and chat with the family twice in one weekend and not be cranky about the whole thing.

Monday she flies out to Vancouver on a sanity maintenance mini-vacation. I would like to be able to spend some of my remaining savings on a mini-vacation. I have a "free" flight back to LA in August (half of my return trip to Australia), but i can't even afford a couple nights down there, much less the flight back. I have to re-enter Canada in the next month because my visa is going to run out soon, but at this rate it's going to be a Greyhound to Buffalo and a night in Motel 6. Maybe i'll be able to afford a bucket of wings.

It's frustrating when you're not actually broke but you know you have a limited pool of cash to last you at least 4 months. I guess i'm going to have another guilt-ridden Christmas too. If we make it to NYC on my 30th as planned i'll be overjoyed. Other things are frustrating too. I guess i should get off the couch and try live some semblance of a normal life today.

Yeah i know, you all are still wondering how i ended up with a Leo. Heh.

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