anxiousI just read my dad's eulogy for his dad. In some ways he was a polar opposite to me, his doors open to everyone. In that respect i inherited a lot more from my mother's side, the intense privacy. I wonder what kind of person i would be if i wasn't so terrified of having to interact with other people, of having them in my space. I wonder what it would be like to not even consider it "my" space, but just to see the whole world as one big common. Just trying to conceive of it is making me shake uncontrollably.
I guess i will try go back to focusing my mind again. It's like whack-a-mole, deal with one thing, another one pops up, then the first one pops back up again. It's good to be exposing all this stuff, better to deal with it now than not at all, but man. Be nice to take a break once in a while. I am going to eat sugar free raspberry jello.
