amw (amw) wrote,

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girls out on the floor

I just emailed my boss in Australia telling him i can't do the work. That was one of my goals for the week, building up the confidence to actually say what i needed to say to him. I was in this weird situation where i felt really guilty for not working but too distracted to actually do the work. And i got myself progressively more stuck because i was also too scared to just tell him i couldn't do it. I have no idea how he'll reply, but no doubt it's not going to be the fire and brimstone catastrophic career-ending consequence i pictured in my head. Anxiety is so fucking retarded it makes me want to scream sometimes!

Thursday this week is first rehearsal with my drum group for our performance in September. We still haven't got the beats confirmed, so i haven't bothered to practice anything specific. What i have been doing is trying to work on co-ordination exercises. There's a lot of good YouTube stuff out there for kit drummers that teaches speed and hand-independence. At the moment i think my biggest problem is muscle-memory (or muscle-forgetfulness, to be more precise). When i'm playing a simple beat on djembe i can't sing over it because it fucks up my playing, and when i'm playing a single-hand dumbek beat it's hard to hit something ornamental on the off hand without getting confused. Each of those things by itself is no problem, but they're obviously not ingrained yet. I guess you just gotta play this shit over and over and over till your fingers bleed.

Speaking of bleeding fingers, the last couple days haven't been so good in the kitchen. I sliced my ring finger dicing an onion, and grated my thumb knuckle in with the cheese. I was a bit scared to pick up the drum again because i had these images of the skin covered in blood, looking like some hardcore wrestler's forehead. The cut closed up pretty quick, though, and i barely notice it when i'm playing. Am i getting drum fingers? Heh.

I know one thing, i am definitely not getting basketball ankles. I was in the shower this morning and noticed my legs are freakishly skinny. I think i'm continuing to lose weight, though i am eating fairly normally. I need to start working out or something. I would like to think i'm reasonably fit considering i don't smoke or drink any more, i have a healthy diet, i walk a lot more here than i did in Australia... But no point being fit and feeble, like some freakin vegan poster child. I wonder if i can push myself to exercise each day? It's hard enough to get my ass to hit the drum.

No, i do not hit the drum with my ass.
Tags: drumming

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