amusedThere was this funny thing i wrote back in 2007 in my morning journal. I skimmed it earlier today because i was doing stretches and noticed the books sitting there and of course i had to pick one up. They were in the wrong order, you see, somehow i could tell. And i read page after page of my own writing going "hey i know i'm going out a lot and getting drunk all the time and i'm bursting with confidence and usually that's a bad sign but this time it's so under control, this time i know exactly what's going on and it's just me being me and it's healthy" and on and on i went. And there's no doubt i had a lot of fun and i didn't bankrupt myself, i didn't get arrested or get an STD or OD or any of a hundred possible worst case scenarios... But reading it today i'm like wait a second, how many more entries are going to start off "so, i'm really fucking hungover and i barely slept..."
So later on i stepped out of that mystery canoe i was in and it's like, okay, what is it this time around that seems like it's perfectly logical and under control but actually i'm making a mess of things? Heh. And you know it's not always a complete disaster these days because i do actually have my shit a million times more together than 5 or 10 years ago, but there's bound to be one thing or another that you only really notice after the fact. It's like Christmas, you never know what you're gonna get. Except when you do. Speaking of which, i got a Souhail Kaspar CD in the mail. I was going to write an entry on drumming but i guess that didn't happen. Hey, you got two angst-free entries in a row, i was due some rambling. Now if only my brain would shut the fuck up, it's like reading this journal all jumbled up and multi-tracked in fast-forward.
Tomorrow i have therapy, lunch with my wife and then a meeting with my lawyer. Doesn't that sound fabulously yuppieish? Hah! If only my income would reflect it, then i could run around spending money on frivolous shit too. See how far i've come? That's me, Ms Fiscal Responsibility. Ugh. I still hate honorifics. You know i could avoid the whole damn situation by becoming a doctor. Or president! I will start my campaign by drinking a Diet Coke at 1am.
