amw (amw) wrote,

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om nom nom crazy pills

Since i was 19 i've been on various different daily medications - sometimes more, sometimes less. It evened out to 3 pills in 2003. Before that i had a lot of trouble because i was irresponsible with dosages or didn't want to take meds at all - i had all kinds of messed up excuses. For a few years after that i only skipped them when i went out clubbing, until i realized that was kind of a stupid excuse too. These days i still miss my dose about once a month just because i fall asleep early or whatever. In the last week i've missed twice. I'll chalk it up to coincidence for now but i need to keep a closer eye on things.

It's going to be interesting once i run out of my meds from Australia because one of the drugs i take isn't available here. I'll probably be going back to similar-but-not-the-same Depakote, which i was only on for a while when i lived in the US. That wasn't exactly a high point for my sanity, so it's a little scary. So much bullshit to look forward to still - the immigration medical, registering for Ontario public health insurance, first doctor's appointment, first psychiatrist's appointment, blood tests, new prescriptions, more blood tests... Somewhere in there i will need to get a job and shovel several feet of snow.

When i moved countries as a kid it was always crazy for the first six months or so - trying to find a place to live, changing schools... But it settled, more or less. As an adult my international moves have been much more protracted and challenging, it feels like. I keep getting stuck in a very fucking long immigration phase. I'm not sure if as a kid i didn't notice my parents struggling with that, or if it's just the reward i get for deciding to move to North America instead of the EU where i have full resident privileges by birth. But i can't help it... i love it here. I don't want to live anywhere else. Or not till i'm old and gray and looking for a tropical beach to retire on, anyway.

I wonder if i will still have to take drugs when i'm old and gray? I'll probably need to take more! Maybe all our meds will be administered via some awesome tiny thing you wear and refill each day, like an insulin pump. It'll be waterproof too so i can get out my hammock from time to time and jump in the cool blue ocean...
Tags: crazy

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