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Not the only one...
mom walk
I missed the show tonight and will have to watch it coming Saturday, but you have no idea how much less lonely this makes me feel:


The ages, the background, it's like a carbon copy of my story. This is something i really haven't talked about much in my journal. It's on my mind every single day, and at times i cry for hours and hours. Noone really knows how to help me, and to be honest i don't really know how to help myself either. Recently i've just pushed it aside, trying to deal with other, more important things. I'm surviving, yet every time i think back to this i need to pull out everything i can to stop myself collapsing back into depression. I don't know what to do, i just don't know :(

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I kick myself in the ass everytime I think about it. I realize I wasn't the one who made you do it...but I started you down the road, gave you the ammunition AND the gun.

I'm horrified that I was a party to this, and I've apologized as much as I can for my part in this. I've apologized to myself more times than you know. I just wish there was a way I could fix this.

Until then, draw what you need from me, it is freely given.

You can't take the blame, Jenn, because if it hadn't been you, it would've been someone else. And if it hadn't been someone else, it would've been someTHING else. And at the end of the day, better i'm an unhappy post-op than that i met someone who made me decide the way out would be to kill myself shooting up or something.

Yes, it is nice to still have you around. :)

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