I didn't see a sunset tonight - it's overcast and we are finally getting dusted with snow that's sticking. We may wake up to a white Christmas yet. Sunsets here are wholly different again to the west coast of the US or the east coast of Australia. It's very flat around Toronto; there's such a big sky. At twilight it turns coral then cinnamon, scratched by jet contrails and wispy clouds. Driving on the freeway sometimes i can think the city away and imagine riding across the plains, before the land was settled.
It's odd, being so far from the ocean. This is the furthest inland i've ever lived. I never particularly cared for the sea - even when i lived close i'd rarely visit - but somehow in the sky i can feel a difference. It seems cleaner; more calm and less wild. Perhaps that's good for my soul right now. I still have the lake - vast and blue. Now, just after the solstice, the sun must be setting over it to the south... i will wrap myself in a bundle and go watch one evening. There is a spot where my mind can breathe.
Tonight i am home with J and we will eat Chinese and watch Die Hard. Tomorrow we will make latkes and schnitzel for her and serve dates and prosciutto and mandarins and brie for me. Hopefully Santa will bring me chocolate in my stocking. If i get to make a snowman i will squee. But mostly i just want peace for Christmas, a break from the chatter, to have my mind rest and my heart glow. It's been so long.