amw (amw) wrote,

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she's my sugar mummy

Yesterday J and i went on our Christmas date. A few weeks back we found a great deal on a nice hotel downtown and decided to spoil ourselves for a night. It's so refreshing to get out of the house for a while. Every time we book a hotel somewhere we come home feeling renewed, just one night with a different view and a different bed can change the world.

What J didn't know because it was my Christmas gift to her was that we'd also be visiting the King Tut exhibition at the local art gallery. I think it's one the biggest displays of ancient Egyptian artifacts outside of Egypt at the moment, so it really is a "once in a lifetime" thing. On a whim earlier this year we looked into traveling to Egypt. That's one thing we are alike in and love doing together - planning random dream vacations... This was a way to bring a tiny bit of dream vacation to us.

I have never in my life seen a museum so busy. People were separated into groups for entry, divided by half hour blocks. We spent half an hour waiting in line before we even entered the gallery, and that was with prepaid tickets. But wow, so fucking worth it. I've never seen artifacts so old up close. I know millions of people have seen them before me, that the blood and sweat of the ancient artisans is long gone, but the spirit was there! Some of the pieces were over 3500 years old, yet still intact and so majestic they took my breath away. My favorite was just a large, crumbling block covered in hieroglyphs... Such a mystery to me but a striking remnant of a literate civilization long lost. The jewelry, also, was spectacular. Some of the work was so detailed... It's humbling knowing such fine necklaces and trinkets were made so many thousands of years ago, objects that i still find terribly beautiful and can picture around the neck or in the boudoir of a woman today. Of course the men back then were pretty too... Truly amazing.

Coming out of the show, though, i became faint. The world started fading away a bit and i couldn't string a sentence together any more. I knew i had to eat but when J tried to give me money to buy something i looked at her blankly - i just couldn't process it. I think i started getting cranky so she dragged me to Quizno's, which was the closest place. When they said they didn't have chicken for my sandwich i just fell deeper into confusion and it was all sort of a blur after that until i was sitting at a table eating McDonald's fries and a sandwich. It was horrible and scary and it's been happening a lot lately.

I feel like it has to be low blood sugar. I don't know if it's because i have very little body fat now, or if it's the icy cold weather making my metabolism go faster, or what, but sometimes even when i think i've eaten okay i just get overwhelmed. My mom had severe anemia several years ago, so i guess it could be something like that, but she's a vegetarian and i eat plenty of meat, plus i don't shy away from big meals when it's something i like so what the fuck? I'm supposed to be healthier now than i've ever been so these episodes are fucking frustrating.

I guess i should see a doctor, but my insurance doesn't kick in till February, and i can't afford a full suite of blood tests without a job. But if i am anemic or have some other deficiency i'd rather catch it now than possibly end up in hospital, or find myself unable to train, or something. Blar. See? My body likes to fuck with me when things are going well. I want to blame it on some psychosomatic self-sabotage bullshit, but fuck. I guess i am nearly 30, not young and invincible, my mom and sister both have had similar problems that hospitalized them, bla bla bla, be responsible... Okay. I just want to fly.

And i want to go see the pyramids before i die. Yup that too.

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