In a week i could be working a part-time admin job barely breaking minimum wage, or i could be earning over twice as much per hour in a full-time IT contract. I felt such positive vibes interviewing for the admin position this afternoon - the work isn't demanding and the building is gorgeous, in a park, out in the suburbs... It was right the other way earlier in the morning when i was taking a challenging skills test and trying to feel out the right buzzwords to drop for my future manager in condo city. I did my best at both - i can't do any more than that. I'll spend this weekend applying for any more interesting positions i come across, and we'll see who calls me in the upcoming days.
I keep going back and forth on what kind of job i want. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that i'm working by February so i can pay rent that month. I can't afford to wait around hoping the ideal job i'm visualizing suddenly appears. (That's the magic time/money balance of $20+ per hour, 20-30 hours per week, by the way.) I need to remember that nothing is forever and just because i get hired somewhere doesn't mean i have to sign my life away. If i'm not earning enough or i'm overworked, i can always look for another job. I need to learn how to not feel like a failure or experience guilt over these things. I know i'm doing the best i can do right now, so whatever happens i just gotta roll with it.