amw (amw) wrote,

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two in one day, oh my!

So part of the problem is this. I like too much stuff. I was just at drum class and i've pretty much hit the point where i need to put in an hour a day of drills or resign myself to being a drum circle hippie for life. It's the same stage i got to with guitar when i gave it up in favor of electronic music. Even now i can still pick up a guitar and play chords for a sing-along, but good luck getting me to play the Satriani i was fumbling with 15+ years ago.

I'm struggling in Spanish class this term. Aside from the couple months break and my head being full of Zyprexa, i'm struggling because i just haven't exposed myself to enough Spanish on a daily basis. I get snippets in shows like Breaking Bad, i skim a lucha libre blog every day, but that's about it. I don't rent enough movies, i don't go to Latin American stores and strike up conversation, and i don't sit at home drilling vocabulary. I've hit a block.

And boxing. If i really want to be a contender i should be training 5 days a week. I can get in 3 days, but lately even that feels like a lot because i'm so sleepy. I should be running several days a week. I shouldn't be snacking outside of the nutrition regime. I should be calling around to find other people my size to spar with so i can be in peak condition when i get my first fight. I should this, i should that.

Somewhere in between i love listening to music too, and watching TV shows, watching movies, playing basketball, going out dancing and a million other things. Hell i wanted to focus on writing music again, remember that from a few entries back? Oh, and i need to work enough hours to pay the bills. The problem is i need to shit or get off the pot, with everything. There's no point wasting my time and money on classes in any of this stuff if i can't maintain a good practice schedule outside of the day or days i show up to class. But that's where the depression gremlins can get a foot in the door - they say if i can't put in 100% for anything then why not just drop everything? That's no solution either.

When i was in hospital i tried to put together a schedule with work and play in it, but i think i need to break it down into more bits. I can't kill myself by having an impossible practice schedule, but perhaps i need a bit more of a kick in the face when i start procrastinating to say: hey, why not do this instead, or that? The whole reason i'm doing all these things is because i love them, so it should be fun to practice in my downtime.

On the other hand maybe i need to be even easier on myself and accept that because of whatever other things in my life i'll never be able to put in the hours i need to become great... But i should at least be the best i can be. Hrm.
Tags: drumming, movement, music

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