amw (amw) wrote,

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blar continued

...and this weekend it's back to Montreal for another family thing (a post-funeral ceremony for J's grandmother). Today sucked mightily. It was almost 11 by the time i woke up, i was cranky for the rest of the morning and i spent 2 hours working only to achieve nothing at all because i was stuck on exactly the kind of problem that makes me hate software development. The highlight was watching an episode of Baywatch over lunch. You know a day sucks when...

Somehow i need to drag myself out of bed at 7am tomorrow so i can get fasting bloodwork done. I was supposed to do it a while back but it didn't happen. With a bit of luck my psych will still get the results by my appointment Thursday when i plan on having a nice long bitch session about my sleeping patterns. I've been getting real antsy lately, not wanting to take my meds because they make me so tired. Not to mention they're costing me in excess of $5 a day. Wait, that's a small price to pay for sanity. Perhaps, but the sleeping thing isn't. It's making me angry.

Or perhaps it's just my work that's making me angry. Or perhaps it's all just anxiety around the social stuff that's been going on. A bit of everything, perhaps. The last week it feels like all the emotion i have left is anger and depression. I played drum today and it felt good, then i cooked dinner and ate and now the darkness is back. Fuck everything, man. I'm frustrated. Maybe i should just shut up and read my book. Maybe it'll pass tomorrow.
Tags: crazy

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