amw (amw) wrote,

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in preference to work

I did 2 hours solid work today and about 3 hours of that "dead time" that you do when you are a computer programmer. That's the time when you're stuck on a really hard problem so you randomly do other things while you pretend to work and let the problem marinate. I don't really know how to charge for that as a freelancer. As a full-time employee it's just calculated into your salary. I have decided to charge for an hour of pondering, i think that's fair. I might be writing a journal entry now, but i am actually closer to a solution than i was at 2 this afternoon.

Yesterday i saw my doc and he actually listened to my bitching about the tiredness and the cost of my meds. He decided to adjust my dosages so i'll be taking a bit more Depakote and a bit less Zyprexa - this should address both problems at the same time. I guess i'll know in a week or two if it made any difference. The thing with the Zyprexa is that i know it's my miracle drug, like it totally knocks my mania and insomnia on the head, but it makes me so lethargic in the mornings that i end up frustrated and cranky. It's not as bad as the Seroquel, which made me violently depressed, but it's still hard to deal with. I guess if i had less obligations in the day it wouldn't be so bad, but i have to work.

I don't really like writing about work here. I still think my "calling" is somewhere else, i just wish i could find the guts to go after it, whatever it is.
Tags: career, crazy

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