Yesterday i saw my doc and he actually listened to my bitching about the tiredness and the cost of my meds. He decided to adjust my dosages so i'll be taking a bit more Depakote and a bit less Zyprexa - this should address both problems at the same time. I guess i'll know in a week or two if it made any difference. The thing with the Zyprexa is that i know it's my miracle drug, like it totally knocks my mania and insomnia on the head, but it makes me so lethargic in the mornings that i end up frustrated and cranky. It's not as bad as the Seroquel, which made me violently depressed, but it's still hard to deal with. I guess if i had less obligations in the day it wouldn't be so bad, but i have to work.
I don't really like writing about work here. I still think my "calling" is somewhere else, i just wish i could find the guts to go after it, whatever it is.