amw (amw) wrote,

No Halloween :-(

I made a mistake today. I shouldn't have tried after last year's failure. I walked through every aisle in Target and Big W (aka Walmart Australia) looking for anything Halloween-y. Lots of Christmas stuff. No monsters. No candy. No pumpkins. No ghosties. I cried in the store when Toto "Africa" came on. The melancholy sounds followed me into every store i went. I choked at an old blues song, wailing guitar through a talk box... I couldn't even find a card to send her.

I searched and searched and came back empty-handed... but i did find one thing for me. "USA" by David Hall, photos by Jordi Miralles. It's a collection of photos of America, compiled in Spain, printed in Germany, written in three languages. It has hundreds of photos featuring landscapes, cities, lifestyle and houses - "a glance at America", the foreword says.

I've written on my website but i'm not sure how many of you know: from when i was 8 or 9 to about 15 i collected photos of America from magazines my parents bought, photos my mother took when she went over there, photos from calendars... It was in my special box with my stickers and a bunch of other things i've lost over the years. Some days i would just lie on my bed with our 8-bit computer playing three-channel game music on repeat and look at the photos and dream that one day i would be able to see it all, drive and drive for years. It didn't match any other music i listened to at the time, but Tom Cochrane "Life is a Highway" was my theme song for a while.

I can't even begin to explain how it felt to drive under a bridge in Boston in 1997. It was just a bridge, you know. Highway, another highway going over the top, part under construction... but that was it, right there - that was one of the photos i remembered. I couldn't breathe. Then 2002, driving inland in California, the way the grassy plains started to roll into hills, i'll never forget that sight.

I don't know how many photos i had, i want to visit it all. I want to fly through Dallas at night - the last time was 1987. I want to look down at Reno from the mountains at twilight, pink sky. I want to drive under three levels of highway near LA. I want to see the arch at St Louis silhouetted against the night sky... And this is just remembering my old photos - i haven't even opened the book yet. I guess it's some strange fetish... or maybe just my dream.
Tags: looking back, travel

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