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singapore sunset
I was thinking earlier about how this place is like some kind of purgatory for me. Ten years ago i was living in Australia - a country i didn't at all feel happy in. I was working in IT so that i could maybe someday qualify for an H-1B and move to the US. I had dropped out of college but i guess i hoped that i'd make it anyway on the basis of my skills. I was a very good programmer. I did eventually move to the US, although on a visitor visa. It was right after 9/11 and the economy was struggling. There were thousands of layoffs in Silicon Valley - the one place where most of the H-1Bs are handed out, and coincidentally also very close to where T lived. Needless to say i didn't find any work and ended up back in Australia, still working in IT, and gradually circling the drain.

Fast-forward ten years and i'm living in Canada. It's still not the US, but at least the seasons are the right way around and i can watch NBA on TV. Also they have good burgers. I am still working in IT, but now only part-time because i no longer need thousands of dollars saved up to make my move to the US. Working full-time in IT was extremely trying for me - it kept me distracted, but also in a state of constant tension that often led to drinking or worse. We're in another recession. I now have my bachelor's degree, but i'm realizing it's the master's that's the real ticket to immigrate. And i can't really look at Silicon Valley any more because i'm gay-married and US immigration won't recognize my partner. Cross-border options would be Detroit or Buffalo, neither of which are high-tech powerhouses.

So where's the progress? I'm still not living where i want to be. I'm still not doing what i want to do. I guess there's some. I had a shower this morning. Well, afternoon. I really should stop writing everywhere. It's beginning to feel a little compulsive.


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