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but then
singapore sunset
A walk through the cold wind can blow some sense into me. Or sensation, at least. I like the feeling of wind whipping my hair about. I like our neighborhood grocery store. I like fruit. And fruit juice. They call it a smoothie here if it's 100% fruit. I like smoothies. I like Diet Coke too - and junk food, although i rarely buy it. I like potato chips and chocolate. I like fast food. I especially like spicy chicken sandwiches. I've probably only had fast food a handful of times since coming to Canada. No money, you see. But i like having no money too sometimes. It makes me rethink what's important.

I like having a pre-paid cellphone. I like dumbphones. But i like modern gadgets too. I like things that let me take more of my life with me. I like the idea of becoming a nomad. I like to look at pictures of far-off places. I like to dream. I like to read about the world. I like to read in general. Stories about the nature of reality i like best, about moods and thoughts and the world inside. Or wild places, times that don't exist yet, new wars yet to be fought. I like visual media that paints these fantastic worlds. I like watching TV shows where the characters' true intentions are constantly under threat of being discovered. I like secrets. I like openness too. I like freedom.

I like pretty things. Little trinkets and and baubles, kitschy and fine. I don't hold on to many but those i do make me smile. I like to smile. I like flowers. I like the smell of cookies in the oven. I like to cook. I like to create. I like to write. I write in silence too often. I like the silence, but i like music too. I like instrumental music, or music with vocalists who have a keen sense of rhythm, who sing like an instrument. I like a good beat, i like to dance! When i am alone sometimes i still do. I miss going out to dance. It's one of the few constants i've had since i was a teenager. I like having a thread that goes backwards and forwards too. I like good memories. I like to cry, sometimes.

I like snowflakes. I like sun. I like when it rains. I guess i like a lot of different things that don't go together. I like saxophones and synthesizers. They used to go together once upon a time. And eyeliner. I definitely like that. I can get lost in glamorous eyes. I also like sequins. And long earrings too. I can't wear piercings because my body hates metal. But i like bitchin' guitar riffs. I like that i'm growing my hair longer again. I am trying to like me again. I do like me. I don't know.