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food, sports and work
singapore sunset
amw
Still struggling with getting out of bed. It makes me so frustrated. I feel like such a loser when my partner is getting up by 7am to head into school every morning and i can't even get myself up before noon to start my half-assed day of part-time work. And yet at the very same time a part of me is just longing to wrap myself tighter in the sheets and descend back into sleep, into the dreams. Once i'm actually up and out of bed the conflict goes away and i'm just left with a vanishingly small amount of time to do all the things i'm supposed to be doing. And so another day goes.

I had a break from the wearying routine on Wednesday. For my birthday J and her parents bought me tickets to a Raptors game. I've been enjoying following the NBA since i moved here - i haven't done that really since i was a kid in the 90s. Although our local team sucks mightily, it's nice to actually have a home team for the first time in my life. So we headed out to watch the game, and i got to choose dinner first. On my actual birthday i chose dinner at a hole-in-the-wall Pakistani joint round the corner from our house. It was truly kick-ass - fresh naans from the tandoor, chicken tikka, curry - yum. J grit her teeth through it, doing some kinda wifely duty or something i guess. I didn't realize how little she enjoyed it till after and that made me feel like crap so Wednesday i decided to choose something a little closer to home. We went to Chipotle for some quick tacos, then headed over to the stadium for popcorn and a hotdog. When the opportunity arises it's always those simple things i go for. Even in Australia where we went out pretty regularly J found it hard to spoil me - i always opted for hole-in-the-wall Asian joints over a fancy dinner. I just like simple fast food. I'd probably make a terrible chef if i ever did go that path, i just don't have a real appreciation for haute cuisine.

Dinner aside, the game was really close and we actually ended up winning over Chicago, who are one of the top teams in the Eastern Conference. I had expected us to get destroyed, so that was a nice birthday surprise. Tonight Toronto plays Phoenix, which was always my team growing up. I'm going to be conflicted - who to cheer for? Who cares? If i watch the game i just hope it'll be a fun one. I never really understood that rabid sports fanaticism where every loss is personal. I think i get it now, though, especially having been to a couple of live games. It's a thrill to be in a packed arena backing the home team. That group experience makes the outcome feel so much more visceral. Though... for me it's even more of a thrill to be on the court playing your own heart out. I miss the game. I wonder if the co-ed leagues here would make me as happy as the one i played for in Australia did.

But anyway, yesterday was back to the grind. Today should have been too, except that i have almost run out of things to do and my boss is out of town and hasn't had time to give me some direction. I might work a bit on the weekend to make the hours up, if she emails me. I'm a little worried that if we really run out of things for me to do i won't make up a consistent 60 hours, and then i'll need to find other work. The idea of going back and doing interviews again terrifies me right now. The thought of having to be awake early every morning just in case i get a call... God no. This job has given me a very comfortable routine that over the last few months i've really started feeling secure and (relatively) happy in. I don't want to shake that up.
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