enragedWhat frustrates me the most is how goddamn fucking useless this degree has been. It cost me a fucking fortune - i paid everything up-front rather than get government loans. It didn't get me a job because i already had one. It almost killed me with stress through 2004 and 2005. Most of all it never got me to America, which was the whole fucking point of completing it in the first place. It makes me so, so angry when i think about all that time i wasted, all the energy spent trying to study and work full-time, all that work only to end up stuck in Australia for a further 4 years and even now still no closer to moving to America. And now when my only fucking tiny vanishing hope of making it there is tied to even further study i can't even use the work i did as a solid basis for entrance into postgraduate work because the fucking fly-by-night open university operation can't get their shit together to properly represent my marks. I might as well be using that diploma to wipe my ass for all the good it's done me. It's still fucking rolled up in the same tube they sent it to me in back in 2006. Fuck this bullshit, fuck it all to hell.
I don't even want to do a fucking Master's in IT anyway. But i already looked into my other options and pretty much everything else requires me to do even more undergraduate work before even considering it. The last thing i want is to go back to school again and rack up debt (because i sure as hell can't pay it up-front now). Seriously, i am shaking just thinking about it. It's hard enough thinking about having to sit through that bullshit, having to get graded on work i don't fucking care about... And then adding even more undergraduate work on to it? I feel sick. I hate that this is the only path forward i can see. I hate that i still can't fucking immigrate after all these years and all this work. I hate i wasted so much time. God there are so many things i would have done different.
