So i found a record of my 1998 philosophy course being marked as "incomplete", not failed. I'm not sure if i can have that count as "withdrawn". I also found an old results certificate from 2000 showing i got a 44 (fail) for one of the two IT courses they now have listed as a fail. I don't even remember taking that course. God knows what happened with the other one. I don't remember a whole lot of anything from back then. If i'd had my shit together and just finished my degree in 2001 like i was on-track to do things might have turned out different. I have a feeling it was all getting too much by the end of 2000, though, working full-time and taking a full-time study load at the same time. I was disintegrating well before my breakdown in 2001. Of course i then picked it all up again in 2004, but i guess that's how my moods go. You know then all of a sudden you can take on anything. Right up until it falls apart anyway. It's been a while since i felt like that. More often i just get paranoid and want to act out, i skip that quasi-productive middle bit. Or i stay here in the doldrums realizing just how many things i fucked up in the past have ended up affecting all my options today.