amw (amw) wrote,

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alarming roots

So a few months back i decided i needed to give my hair a break from the relentless bleaching of the ashy/platinum blondes i was doing. I went to a demi-permanent "dark blonde", which i was hoping would slowly wash out to around my natural color. First color my whole head turns brown. No big deal, it's only a demi. Within a couple weeks it had faded to a light brown with a golden sheen. I was fine with that. I started doing it pretty regularly to continue depositing as much color onto my hair as i could, to help recover from the bleaching.

Up until the last month or two. I decided to let my hair grow out a bit so i could see how far away from my natural color i was. I let it grow, and i let it grow some more, and i still couldn't see that tell-tale line where the roots began and the color ended. There was a slight difference in tone, but i didn't see the nice blonde splash i was expecting. The lightest color seemed to be streaks of gray, which i'm still trying to convince myself i hallucinated. The rest was a dirty mess of a shade as dark as the brown my hair is currently colored, just less rich and shiny.

I should probably mention i haven't really seen much of my natural color since i was 17, as i started bleaching it around then and have been all different colors since. But a part of me still wanted to believe that underneath all the color my hair would still be the blonde i had as a teenager. Yeah, well, no. It hasn't completely turned, but it's so dirty now it's barely discernible from brown and lacks any natural luster. They probably don't even make this color in hair dye because seriously, who the fuck would want it?

In any case, today i went back to "dark blonde" resigned to the fact i'm going to be coloring my hair for the rest of my life.

This post might have been better with pictures. Unfortunately the last decent picture i have of me is from Boston when i was still platinum. So you will all just have to imagine.

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