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smiling faces
singapore sunset
Someone recently said to me that i didn't look depressed because i was smiling in all my photos. But most photos i'm in are a really poor yardstick for my mood. I used to never smile in photos. I wasn't unhappy, i just didn't see a reason to put on a face. Somewhere along the line i got so sick of people complaining that i wasn't smiling enough that i learned how to deliberately bare my teeth and do some broad dopey grin for the lens. I still feel stupid doing it, every time. It's not that i never smile naturally - of course i do - it's just that it's not natural for me to put on that face and hold it for a shot. I guess i would make a poor model. Or perhaps not if people looking at the pictures don't notice how forced it is for me. It's funny that people who only read my writing online and then meet me in real life often find me less morose than they expected, whereas people who see my photos expect me to be more effervescent than i am. Really i'm just unremarkable. Still subtly depressed, yet not completely incapable of enjoying things. And i lie to cameras.

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It's alright, no one should be obliged to smile, a good one better be spontaneous or it's like crocodiles tears?
At some point I wonder, had you worn any smiley badges in the past.

Like THIS :)


:) Spontaneous smiles are the best, especially captured on film.

I hate that. Being depressed doesn't actually require feeling completely miserable 100% of the time. We all take breaks.

By the way, I still can't fake a smile in any way approaching convincing.

Do you ever get asked to smile on your shoots? I guess you're fortunate in what you do that it's not a prerequisite like it probably is in more commercial work.

rarely. i never use the smiling shots and i have actually turned down shoots because smiling was required. it was weird. i answered an ad for nudes and the guy tried to bait-and0switch commercial shots. i bet he was flummoxed that i was fine with full nudity, but smiling was outside of my comfort level.

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