I think this higher dose of meds is making me drowsy. And clumsy. I dropped a plate today and slashed open my finger. Fortunately it has closed up and i can type again. Unfortunately we now only have three dinner plates. I had a coffee before lunch to try wake up a little bit; not sure if it helped. It sure would be nice to have meds that work to shut down manic symptoms that don't make you tired as well. It's kind of funny that my most successful periods in the past few years have involved a precarious balance of caffeine and alcohol to augment my mood stabilizer. Perhaps i should forget about the prescription medications and go back to that. Though it's also possible that i have managed to get myself into a deeper depression than usual and that's what's really causing this chronic tiredness. Not to mention the lack of motivation. God, i just want to be healthy again. This sucks.