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we can dance if we want to
singapore sunset
Last week out of the blue i decided to book a trip to Chicago. It wasn't completely on a whim, because J has had a trip to the country planned for a little while. I started to think that while she was away with friends doing her thing, maybe i should go out and do something too. Chicago is reasonably close and i've never been there before, so why not? Of course the first thing i did was check out what events were going on that weekend - it'd be criminal to visit Chicago and not go out to hear some house music. Turns out Derrick Carter is playing Smart Bar the weekend after the one J is away, so we talked it over and i decided to book that weekend and see one of my favorite DJs in his hometown. I am so excited!

This is going to be my first vacation on my own in quite some time, and i think i'm really going to enjoy that. In particular, traveling and clubbing is something i haven't usually done with J because she hates clubs and isn't much into electronic music either. It's also going to be cool to meet up with quit after 10 (?) years of online friendship. And i can't wait to eat a Chicago hot dog.

I had a bit of a preview last weekend. For over a year i have used the excuse of poverty to justify not going out. I don't have that excuse any more, but even though there have been some interesting gigs i just didn't push myself. I guess i'd forgotten what i was missing. Last Saturday i finally just walked out the door and the hell with it. I'm earning enough now that if i spend a bunch of money on cover and i'm not digging it i can just get a cab home. Of course that still seems overindulgent to me, but ugh whatever. I'm just glad i left the house. I ended up at a warehouse rave that knocked my socks off.

I think i'm too tired to write a vivid, stirring review. I got to the gig late due to a delightfully sketchy ride, and the party was shut down by the cops at the end, but the music and vibe was off the hook. I hope the promoters made some money because it wasn't super busy, but for me that just meant more room to dance, so yay. I finally got to see Jason Hodges in his hometown, so that was cool. Got home after 6am for the first time since leaving Australia (regular nightclubs here close around 3) and it felt fantastic. I miss the music, the dancing, so very much. It does more for my mood than anything else. I need to keep going out, especially to these sorts of parties where it's so free and nonjudgmental.

But yes, i am tired. Work continues to exhaust me, and for some reason so far this week i've worked 9+ hours each day. Lost track of time. This is the old pattern, putting everything i have into my job, exhausting myself completely, then going all-out on the weekend to try get some of me back. I'm not sure if that was healthy. Nowadays i guess having J will stop me from excessive weekend partying, though what happens then if the pendulum swings too far toward work? Looking forward to October and some serious partying south of the border.

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It's strange how we don't often do the things we KNOW make us happy.

I hope you have an awesome time in Chicago - I am sure you will!

I can't get that damn song out of my head now...

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