May 17th, 2010

on the res

in related news...

I've now not worked for a week. After signing a 2 month full-time contract with a client almost a month ago i've only done about 25 hours work. Last week was supposed to be my first full-time week. I emailed at the beginning of the week saying something personal had come up and i'd keep them informed of my availability. This morning i wrote another email just to touch bases and say it's still tough for me to work. I got a reply very quickly asking for a time frame. I don't even have a time frame for myself yet. It's got me teetering on the brink again because i already feel like a failure as it is, after acting so positive about this contract... I guess that's the curse of being a good actor, being able to present a cool visage when really everything is fucking up inside. Then people always expect the best and the moment things get really out of control it takes them all by surprise and disappointment abounds. Yeah so i feel like a failure again. What do i tell them if i'm in for another week? I'm just fucking self-destructing here. If i don't have work to go back to then what? :(
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