April 4th, 2011

on the res

i get nerd points

This weekend i'll be dipping my toe into a new pool. On one of my random internet wanderings a couple weeks ago i decided to look up sci-fi conventions in Toronto. It was a whim i followed after reading a blog of an author i've been enjoying where she mentioned going to conventions as a budding writer. I quickly wrote the idea off as too expensive and pretty freakin geeky to boot. I mean, surely if i were to ever go to a convention it'd be something mainstream like San Diego Comic-Con? Yeah, that lasted till my next little breakdown.

See, i've been "depressed" lately. So quoted because it's not the suicidal despair i like to wallow in from time to time. It's just an overwhelming sense of blah - my life isn't going anywhere and i'm not really happy with much of anything in it and what the hell it's all pointless anyway. I was feeling particularly bleak and teary when i started having a heart-to-heart with J about some frustration or other. Anyway, it came out that i'd been to a sci-fi convention website and she said i should just check it out seriously for a change. So i did. And damn if some of the panels didn't actually look fascinating. It made me kinda want to go, just to break out of the melancholy.

We had been planning to do some kind of hotel getaway for our anniversary but couldn't find the right thing until this popped up. There's no chance in hell J will go to a sci-fi convention, but she is very happy spending two nights at a freeway hotel with a king-size bed and cable TV. I might not get my boutique hotel experience, but i'll get to spend the weekend geeking out without feeling like i'm doing it totally alone because i can always go back to the room and just enjoy a normal weekend away with my partner. It's sort of a win-win. I'll be trying something new, i might even socialize with people, or learn something, or at the very least be inspired. I think i need it.
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on the res

on a slightly related note

I was digging the other day and found two unfinished stories from what appears to be 1997. I have absolutely no recollection of writing them. One has additional notes explaining what happens over the course of the planned 3-part novel (!), though reading it back now i have no idea where i was going with it because it's so scatter-brained. The writing itself is awful, of course. Both stories were set in the future, which makes them an interesting curiosity, because both futures seem even less plausible today than they did 14 years ago. Either that or there was just vastly less subtlety to my cynicism as a 17 year old. Well, there was probably less subtlety to my everything.

I wish i could find that book where i had written a number of other story ideas dreamed up over the years. I always seem to have ideas, worlds in my mind that burst with detail. The only thing i don't have is a plot. This is why i should make video games instead of write books.
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