June 30th, 2014



Yesterday it was raining a little bit, and when i thought about taking a 1.5 hour trip out to a festival of 60.000 people i decided i'd rather stay home drinking champagne in bed. So i did. Then i decided to go to Renate, but because of Fusion and the rain, it wasn't opening till 22.00, so by the time it got that late i decided i'd rather fall asleep instead. I am so disinterested in night-time clubbing these days. Trying to force myself to stay awake till 11pm, or midnight or later just seems like such a waste of an evening. If i am already out i can stay up all hours of the night, but if i can't turn up to the club straight after breakfast or lunch when i am still full of energy i really end up happier at home.

The upside of this decision is that i would be awake early and be able to be productive today. Last weekend i did a complete prioritized list of everything i would like to buy for this apartment that will make my life more comfortable without making me too stressed out at the amount of "stuff" i have. For every item on the list i measured the size i wanted and wrote out a practical purpose so i wouldn't end up at the store and go "but why do i need this, really?" Somehow i have lost that list. I think i stupidly did it on my work computer, and i forgot to save, so it rebooted to do some update and i lost everything. A little frustrating, seeing as that was my biggest achievement of last weekend. Today would be the perfect day to go down that list because i don't need to be at work during store opening hours, but because i don't remember the practical purposes i wrote down for anything i feel loathe to waste my day walking around stores feeling uncomfortable and then not buying the stuff anyway.

Still, i am pretty relaxed and content, even after spending all evening yesterday waiting for a club to open and then giving up by the time it did. I realized it's because i had Monday off. Sunday night blues are big problem for me. They have been ever since i started working in this industry. I work very hard, and i like to feel productive, but Sunday evenings are the lowest points in my week. It's one of the reasons i tend to push my weekend partying until the latest possible moment, because as soon as i remember i have to work the next day i just feel really deflated and miserable, and that truly becomes a waste of half a day. Which means, i have about 6 hours today until Monday night blues set in, so if i do want to attack that list, i guess i should get out of bed and do it. Sigh. I wish the clubs had been open this weekend. I need to dance.