amw (amw) wrote,

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dying alone, once again

Any long-time readers remember that crippling bout of gastroenteritis i had back in 2007? You remember, the one that happened when i was single and drinking a shit-ton, and i kept making it worse because i didn't want to stop drinking, then after two weeks of eating bland food and trying to stay sober it turned into a stabbing abdominal pain that lead to an ultrasound and CT scan that ultimately turned up nothing? Yeah, so it's back. Or at least the first three days of it. Monday i broke my pseudo-sobriety and got roaringly drunk, which made Tuesday particularly miserable. But i still toughed it through work. And then i got sick Wednesday. So normally i wouldn't've blamed Monday except for the friend i went out with also got sick Wednesday. I now blame the new chef at the bar. It was all i could do to get home without puking in the cab. I puked all over the parking lot at work. Also all over my laptop, my living room, bedroom and bathroom. It's fucking disgusting, i couldn't hold it back. I'm not sure if it's worse having this single because then you need to clean everything up on your own whilst suffering the worst cramps ever, or if it'd be worse with a partner because it's so utterly humiliating. In either case i've felt desperately lonely the last 48 hours. Thank God for text messages, though it's even hard to write those because the screen makes me queasy. Color me stupid for working from home the last two days. I should probably take a sick day, but i've taken enough of those recently, and honestly as long as i'm not more than 20 feet from a toilet and can lie in the fetal position all day i can do my job okay. One benefit to being a software dev. What sucks a lot is that this weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving. I have no family or anything here any more, but i got invited to an orphans Thanksgiving by a friend and was all excited for that, and now i'll probably be nibbling on turkey like a fuckin anorexic. If i even go, given i'm probably contagious as all get-up. No alcohol either, as was evidenced by the beer last night that led to another puking fit this morning. Fuck! There is so much more depressing news to tell that has nothing to do with my bodily functions, but that's enough for now.

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