June 6th, 2018

singapore sunset


Today i was soaked to the bone, twice. I came into work like looking like a 落汤鸡 (luò tāng jī) - a chicken drowned in soup.

I am not sure when that thing switched in my head that if it's raining i'ma just get wet.

I know i don't like to carry around an umbrella all the time. Who does? My philosophy of owning as little stuff as possible goes double when it comes to the road. It's not just "why buy something you don't need?" It's "why schlep something you don't need?" I mean, clothes dry. Hair dries. Even shoes dry, eventually. What are you going to do? In very cold weather getting rained or hailed on can be painful and may get you sick. On a normal day it's just a bit uncomfortable. Whatever.

Surely i wasn't always like this, though. Did something snap when i went through all that mindfulness-based therapy back in Toronto? Was it the more general awakening that i went through a bit later when i realized i didn't need to live up to anyone's expectations any more? I know by the time i arrived in Berlin i refused to buy an umbrella, which i justified by saying it's not like i desperately needed it just to walk from my house to the subway to the office.

But then i started walking the whole damn route. For a year i walked almost 2 hours a day, every day. Hot, cold, rain, shine - it was always just me in sneakers and jeans and a hoodie and a tank. That must have been when the last piece clicked into place. Just heading out the door whatever the weather is freedom.

My commute here is about an hour on foot too. By bike it's 30 minutes. Since the first day i signed up for Mobike, i haven't ridden the subway once. Being outside, connected to the elements, that's important to me somehow.

Perhaps feeling my slick clothes cling and rub helps keep me grounded after my work sucked me so deep into cyberspace.

In China when it's hot everyone carries an umbrella too. I let the sun fry my skin and relish the sensation of actually being... here.

It's not that i particularly enjoy the sun, or the rain. I just like knowing that i'm still alive. I like to feel something.