December 29th, 2019

mom walk

just a short whinge

There are some things that make me unreasonably angry. One of them is losing access to basic utilities without warning (internet, water, electric). Another is being told i am not allowed to sit or loiter in a public space. And last, definitely not least, is being told what to wear.

It makes me absolutely furious when someone tries to tell me what to wear. Do not, ever, pick up my bra strap and tuck it back in my sleeve. Do not tell me to put on something more professional. Do not tell me to pull up my pants or wear covered shoes. Do not, do not, do not.

I went to get a digital "proof of identity" photo this afternoon as part of application for a social security card (as if the Chinese government doesn't have enough photos of me) and was turned away from two different authorized government photo outlets because my outfit wasn't appropriate.

I was wearing a tanktop.

I argued at both places. I said this was a stupid rule. I can't show my fucking shoulders in a passport photo? Really? Get fucking fucked. This isn't fucking Saudi Arabia. I came to China because in China despite it being an authoritarian state at least people can wear clothes they're comfortable in. Yeah, no. Not for government photos. Or, at least, not any more.

I know it doesn't matter. I walked back to my apartment to get a hoodie. Put the hoodie on for two seconds. Took it off again. But it still irrationally infuriates me. How dare they? How dare anyone tell other people what to wear? It's disgusting. I hate it so much.

This is the first time i have made it out of my house in three days due to a very bad UTI that - with perfect timing - arrived exactly at the start of my holidays. I could barely walk from the pain a few days ago. Fortunately a pharmacy close to my house could give me antibiotics over-the-counter. Later in the evening, when i found i couldn't even sleep it hurt so much, i ordered in paracetamol and heat pads from a 24 hour pharmacy.

I can walk again now, but after the experience at the photo place, i feel like hiding in my apartment the rest of my holiday i am so annoyed.

When i cool off i will still try get out of the city, though. Hopefully my bladder can handle a bus ride next week. At least i can wear a tank top on the Greyhound.