February 29th, 2020

mom walk

terra burning

It just occurred to me that every weekend of this lockout i have showed up at the convenience store downstairs to buy alcohol at ridiculous hours of the morning.

It started on January 31 (i think, i'm drunk, fuck, don't make me check my LJ history) when i took my Canadian friend R downstairs on a drunken Skype jaunt around my village. I felt very young back then, vlogging my ass around the village.

A month ago i was still thirtysomething.

The next morning they locked down my town, yo. 28 days later the fences are still up.

All bars in the city are closed, by government order. All KTVs are closed. All 大排档 (dà pái dàng) big outdoor restaurants are closed. All 烧烤 (shāo kǎo) BBQ joints are closed. Hell, all restaurants in my village are closed except for the 肠粉 places that only do business in the morn. The government has started allowing top tier restaurants to open in the major shopping malls, which basically means the shitty, expensive, bourgeois fucking restaurants i would never visit anyways. Working class restaurants are still not allowed to open.

I have distant rave buddies in Japan and South Korea whose gigs have been canceled. Everyone involved in event planning is getting their shit canceled. DJs, musicians, lighting guys, the works.

If the Chinese-style lockouts end up coming to other countries, every working class person is fucked. That's just how it is. No bars, no clubs, no restaurants, no coffee shops. No barbers, no beauty salons, no arenas, no gyms. If you don't work at a hospital or a grocery store or in home delivery, forget it, you are fucked.

I want to give you a song that is one of my favorites from a few years ago, from the days when i lived in Canada and wished i could move to Berlin, and then i did, and then i heard that song live in the fucking late, great Katerholzig nightclub and it was like Jesus himself came down to touch my forehead.

Chymera - Caprica Burning (Lake People Remix)

It was just an old synth nerd in a collared shirt but it was elysium.

I really fucking miss nightclubs. Raving is so important to me.

China did have a little bit o' the techno back in the day, but it was mostly rich people and expats. I kinda thought it was shit, but it was still better than nothing. Now coronavirus has hit, China legit has nothing. Absolutely nothing. Five fucking weeks, man! Nothing open. I am stirring my crazy with swizzle stick of baijiu and napa cabbage.

Anyway. Solidarity with the Wet'suwet'en. Fuck the RCMP. Fuck the unmounted "P" too. Fuck Brexit. Fuck Bojo. Fuck Xi. Fuck the CPC. Etc. I am exhausted.

Unfortunately, nobody really cares.

Listen to the song, it basically says everything i want to about the end of the world.
mom walk

i'll have a beer

So, in the spirit of every weekend since the lockdown began, i went to the 美宜佳. As it is, the local späti clerks understand my alcoholism better than anyone in my work or friends circles.

Hello my name is amw and i am a weekend alcoholic.

I bought me some beer and some baijiu because it is 3am Saturday morning and i am on lockdown and what else should you do?

But today i also made doe eyes at a pack of smokes and my teenage night clerk was like yeah sure, here you go. I didn't even need to name a brand. Brother knew.

Buddy, this fucking lockdown is regressing me! I haven't bought a pack of smokes in yonks.

It is a pack of lady smokes. In some countries they don't have this any more, but in heavy smoking countries they do. Lady smokes are thinner than man smokes, but of course they are the same price.

I went up to the rooftop to partake.

It was one of the greatest smokes of my life.

But of course i would say that because i am drunk.

Other hand, it is rare that i ever get to have a rooftop smoke because i quit a long time ago and most apartments i live do not have accessible rooftops.

Here they use the rooftop to dry clothes. Rooftop is elevator level 12. Most of the village buildings are 7 levels. That skyscraper you see in the distance is a 30, 40 storey thingy that's been there for a couple years with no tenants. I am sure some rich motherfuckers are still getting richer off of it because China is a corrupt oligarchy.

Anywho. Because i smoked a cigarette i now feel like vomiting. I don't understand how this was a thing i used to do multiple times a day without feeling like garbage.

Anyone want to buy 19 lady cigarettes?


mom walk

these. are the reasons i drink.

i have a bad hangover so i will not be posting anything today.

except this.

Alanis Morrisette - Reasons I Drink

i forgot to post it last night.

i got no shame in admitting that alanis was a big deal for me as a teenager. of course i never bought her stuff because she wasn't cool enough, but she was fucking ubiquitous on tv, on the radio, at guitar music nightclubs... a lot of the guitar music of that era didn't age well for me, but i still love alanis. and now, it turns out, she grew up with me.

(trent reznor did not.)

i should go check out what tracy chapman is up to.

guitars are ok, i guess.