exhaustedAnd that's what happened last week. Thursday i hit my wall. I logged on to call in sick and there was a crisis with our biggest client. Meetings and calls and whatever else. So i worked from home. Dragged myself in Friday. Then didn't make it to work Monday or Tuesday. I pulled myself in for the rest of the week, but i am done for. It's 3pm Saturday and i'm still in bed and still exhausted because even taking those two days at the beginning of the week didn't help because there is construction in my apartment and the whole building is shaking from 8:30am through 5. I need a vacation. A vacation of the type i've never taken, one where all i do is sit on a beach and have beautiful women bring me cocktails. Every now and then i talk about it, but i never do it because i feel like it'd be a waste of money going somewhere and doing nothing, not exploring or discovering something new. But i need it. I am so fucking spent it's not even a joke.
Of course it doesn't help that i'm so frustrated at work any time i can i'll be out partying so i don't have to think about it. So i don't get into the funk i'm in this morning (afternoon...) where my weekend is filled up worrying about our half million dollar client who's on the brink, our release which has now slipped a month, one of our senior devs who just gave notice... And then on top of that i have J's dad still on my case about the guarantor shit because my buddy R is working in this fucked up industry too and we haven't found a time where we can both get off work long enough to sign the papers transferring the guarantor to her. J hasn't gotten back to me Re: tax, which i did a month ago and is just waiting on one line item from her. My old boss/client from when i was freelancing keeps emailing to try and meet and i've been ignoring it. I just want to say the hell with it all, give my own notice and fuck off in May instead of July/August. I'm so, so sick of it. So exhausted.
So yah, here's a nice quiet weekend sitting at home doing nothing, and i just wanna curl into a ball and cry and cry. I don't even have the energy to do my laundry. Thank God there's no incessant drilling, just the constant hum of the subway. I kinda want to put up some kind of Robinson Crusoe calendar so i can mark the fucking days because the thought of going back to work next week, and the week after that, and the week after that... Sigh.
