Here's the thing. I don't try to hide that i'm a trannie - if you ask the question, i'm answering. But just because i answer, doesn't mean i want to start a long conversation about why i did it, or about whether i still have a dick, or whether i have implants, or if my pussy feels "real". And i abso-fucking-lutely do not expect my goddamn cab driver to start telling me about his sex life and what a big dick he has and oh can i touch your pussy "just once". He is extremely lucky that i'm not a prude and engaged his stupid ass conversation, saying perhaps he should save himself for his girlfriend in India who is "so hot, because black women's tits are too big and white women's tits are too small". But when he grabbed my knee as i paid him, joking that maybe he should be paying me for the ride, and then he actually fucking offered to, oh my creepy fucking God. If i didn't give a shit about having a run-in with the cops i would've kicked him in the nuts, but as usual i sucked it up and went back to my apartment to drink myself to sleep.
It infuriates me that people think it's okay to do that shit. And not just random sketchy cab drivers, even colleagues and "friends" have gone there. It's shitty enough being a fucking woman in the first place, but because i'm a trannie too there's a whole nother level of lechery i have to put up with and it's fucking bullshit. Last year sometime i stupidly entered an ignorant conversation about trannies on a message board and was told "well you signed up for that when you decided to get surgery". Say what? No i fucking did not. That's like saying chicks who wear hot clothes are asking to get raped. Give me a goddamn motherfucking break. Because we're all here for your entertainment? Sorry, i missed that part of the trannie contract that said i agree to be the traveling interactive wiki of gender and sexuality. If you're that fucking interested, read a fucking book or something.
Oh, and when i say i like girls, that doesn't mean i need someone with an even bigger dick, or who is even better at licking pussy. It's not about how fucking awesome you are in bed. I don't fucking care. If i was looking for sex i would have fucking gotten it. Is it really that mystifying that i'm at this club/bar/whatever for SOME OTHER FUCKING PURPOSE? Or God forbid i actually get in a taxi cab to, you know, get a ride home. I must be crazy or something. Because when you're a girl every moment in life is just the opening scene to another porn movie, right? Jesus fuck. I got other things going on, man.
I often hate myself for the stupid fucking decision i made as a depressed 19 year old. But even more i hate the fact that society never lets me forget about it. Being a woman is fucking shit, and not just because i spent 19 years as a man. It's just fucking shit, period, and i feel sorry for everyone who has had to suffer this retardedness their whole life. The one consolation is if i was a dude i wouldn't understand near as much just how very shit it is, so i guess i learned something. Fuck men and their bullshit. Also fuck women and their stupid chit-chat about babies and bleeding, but mostly fuck men. Gender fucking sucks.