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lost in a forest
So last night my mom sent me a message suggesting i just hand in my notice on Monday and the hell with the last month's pay. R has been saying for months i should just do it. Even M joined the chorus last Sunday. You know, they might all be right. Even though i have to give two months notice at my apartment, so i'd be stuck paying rent for a month without a job, is that month really worth the pain? I don't know. I'm worried if all i do is sit at home for a month i'll lose track of what i want to do with my life. On the other hand, it'd give me the opportunity to focus on my music and really enjoy that last stretch of non-poverty before i go traveling. It's awfully tempting. This has been my most sober week since i got back from vacation and it has been the hardest; i was crying almost every night. I don't know how much longer i can go on.

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I would be VERY careful about not paying that last month. In my case, I couldn't afford my last month of rent, and had to break the lease - it made my $900 rent into a $3400 bill ($900+$2500 broken lease fee), I spent nearly two years trying to pay off.

Oh don't worry, i'll pay the last month. I just really don't want to use my unemployment/vacation savings on paying rent at a house when i could still be working. But... i've been thinking about it and i think i might just do it. Not tomorrow Monday but next Monday, after i give my notice at the house anyway. Then i'll finish a month earlier than expected, but assuming they inspect the house and all is good, my deposit will cover the last month anyway - i didn't think about that.

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