amw (amw) wrote,

  • Mood:

Netflix break

I don't know what it is, but my computer gets burning hot whenever i watch Netflix. Of course, it could just be that it's always smooshed into the mattress with no airflow. Now my Star Trek marathon has been interrupted anyway, i've moved it onto my stomach where it can boil my imaginary ovaries instead.

I was at the pub Friday night setting up my new phone. I checked my messages and J had left one last week sometime. I guess she deleted me off Facebook or something, so seemed surprised when i texted to say i was leaving in a month. She said to call the next morning, which of course i did not. Seeing as i didn't wake up till after 2. Instead she called me while i was still passed out. And then again. And again. I don't get it - the girl lived with me for years, she knows i never pick up the phone. I only call when there is absolutely no other way to contact the person, and when you are texting to start with, clearly there is. We need to get a divorce. And if she wants any furniture or other shit in this house she needs to pick it up. I wish she'd do it this week while i'm at work, because i don't want to deal with any of it.

And thus ends another weekend where i could've packed. Could've cleaned. Could've done something productive. But instead i just watched movies and Netflix and slept and slept. I'm exhausted; last week at work we finally got the RC out. I worked late every day, got frustrated, got drunk, came in hungover and worked late again. Some of my colleagues commented i shouldn't be working so hard. They're right. I should be kicking off early every day and the hell with the release, with everything. Instead i'm working just as hard as before, except now i'm a nightly fixture at the bar instead of a twice-weekly. I haven't made dinner in weeks, i just eat at the bar and stagger home to do it all over again.

God, only five more days. Five more days. Now i am dreading leaving Canada. I know once i'm actually on the way i'll have a great time, it's just all the work i still have to do beforehand. The cleaning, the packing, the booking of hotels and cars and changing address and moving shit and calling friends (ugh, that "c" word again). I just want to sleep for weeks and weeks once i'm done with work, i don't want to continue being busy. I feel so beaten down and destroyed, i am tired and tired and tired and i never want to think about work again. I just want to leave it all behind and the hell with possessions, the hell with citizenship and rent deposit and bank accounts and credit cards and everything, just put me on an island with lots of pillows and movies and let me cry out my days and nights until i drift away that last time.

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