amw (amw) wrote,

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all that jazz

Tuesday i had another frustrating Canadian healthcare experience. Granted, it was all Hippocratic Oath and shit, but fuck. I went to the doctor to get vaccinations and pick up 6 months of meds, and was denied on all fronts because i haven't had a recent blood test. I was given a blood test form about 9 months ago, along with 6 months of meds, but because i've been busy with work i didn't do the test, and because i'm a fuck-up i didn't do the drugs on schedule either. I do understand my doctor's position, but it's frustrating i had an appointment for nothing, and now my travel insurance is for shit if i have any complication related to a "pre-existing condition" (which can be spun to pretty much anything when i haven't had any recent tests). Guess i get to be not just partially unmedicated but completely unmedicated until i find somewhere to settle down.

That appointment led me directly to the bar, which was not my greatest move seeing as i have done fuck all with regard to getting rid of my shit. I've got all the administrative stuff done (barring medical, obviously), but it's the STUFF i don't know what to do with. My friends are either too grown-up to need it, or too lazy to bother picking it up. In fact, there are only two people who have made an effort to see me before i go, both of whom are former colleagues. I don't mind it for most party people because i don't go to raves to socialize, but there were a few i was friends with outside of the scene who have really disappointed me with their recent disappearing acts. But i guess i shouldn't be surprised; it's happened to me every time i've left a place.

So since i have no friends to keep me company, i've been spending way too much time with imaginary friends. Last week i completed 5 video games; that pretty much took up the entire week. This week i watched rather a lot of So You Think You Can Dance, and went to the Anything Goes revival, which was fabulous. And binged on Orange Is The New Black. And downloaded a bunch of old movies to watch while traveling. Maybe i won't need them when i travel. Maybe i'll make real friends. Or maybe i'll just write in my journal. Maybe i'll break my hip climbing a mountain in Nuevo León and die because osteoporosis is a pre-existing condition. Who the fuck knows?

What i can say about right now is i wish i knew some nerds who wanted my comics. I wish i knew some teenagers who wanted my furniture. I wish i knew some divorcees who wanted my kitchen shit. And i wish i could just sleep in a hotel for the next week and not have to deal with a half-unpacked house that is a constant reminder of all the shit i wish i never bought in the first place. So fucking sick of it all. So tired. I thought quitting work would change that. It didn't. Maybe getting on regular meds would. But it's too late for that. Oh well.

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