amw (amw) wrote,

erste woche

This weekend i pretty much just watched Star Trek, Enterprise and Supernatural. I've fallen into a mini funk, i think. I'm sleeping a lot. It's not that i hate it here - on the contrary, i'm still thrilled every time i take a walk round the neighborhood - i think i'm just spent, and more than a little scared. In Canada, my German kicked ass. Compared to the native-English-speaking DJs and artists who come here i'm doing just fine. (Those South American DJs and artists are another story.) Even bumming around the country talking to hotel receptionists and waiters and bartenders i felt like i could communicate alright. But trawling the job sites i'm lucky to be able to apply for even 5% of the jobs i qualify for professionally, simply because they require fluent German. It doesn't matter that i can get the gist of the ad, or that i could probably construct a mediocre cover letter with the help of a dictionary. That isn't going to get me through an interview, and certainly not through a day's work. I think i've actually started speaking worse German the past few days because i'm intimidated by the job ads - it's causing me anxiety before i even get started.

Nonetheless, i have applied for four positions since i arrived in Berlin. I anticipate that tempo slowing, seeing as three of those were posted last week when i wasn't looking. My original plan was to apply for five jobs a week - over a month that makes 20, so if i got 10% callback that'd still give me an opportunity for a couple of interviews to prove my worth. Now i'm not so sure i can do it. Of course i could extend my search to Hamburg, Frankfurt and Münich, which would give me more options, but damn - they're not Berlin! The reason i left this place till last is because i had a feeling i'd fall in love, and i kind of have. The music scene is retardedly good. The city practically shits art. Every block has at least one building covered from streetside to roof in graffiti and event posters. I pass 5 awesome bars just walking 2 minutes to the subway. And i'm not even in the hippest area. Food is cheap, and better than anywhere else i've eaten in Europe. Beer is so cheap i'm beginning to understand how the locals have adapted to drink it all night at a rave in place of water. Yeah, okay, Berlin bla bla bla. But i'm still worried about finding work.

The other thing is that a lot of the English-speaking IT jobs here are for hip and trendy start-ups. Which is awesome and all, but because i don't do coding in my spare time for fun, i don't have the kind of nerd rep they're looking for. Never mind the fact that i'm a kick-ass developer when i'm actually paid to do it.

But eh. I am half-considering doing an intensive German course, but i suspect i am around B1 level at the moment, and i doubt i could get a real German job here without being C1, which is not a month-long exercise. I don't want to expend the money on certifying myself B1 and then training up to B2 if at the end of it i am broke and have to go back to Canada where i will forget everything, you know?

Of course i could always tuck my tail between my legs and go to (*cringe*) London. Blah.
Tags: career, travel

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