amw (amw) wrote,

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john paul jones on assorted keyboards

So welcome to Tuesday night and fml. Today a bunch of the senior guys had a mutiny meeting, where i was also invited because i used to be a manager/lead and they thought i'd have good insight. God, there are so many things as someone who used to work at much bigger companies i would like to change at this one. They need product management and quality assurance something wicked. Not to mention team leads. But, whatevs, it's a job that's gonna fly me to America on the company dime in a few weeks, and they give 5 weeks vacay (actually standard for Europe) and everyone is free to spend their time doing whatever they want, plus the boss likes me, so, really?

But fer realz. I was really upset to be called into a mutiny meeting in a job where i am still in my honeymoon. I mean, i hope my cool demeanor helped draw some perspective for these guys, but secretly i was pissed. Tonight i went out after-work-drinking in order to forget my goddamned colleagues instead of my manager. That's messed.

I am very, very fucking wasted right now. I went to my EBM bar, which on Tuesdays apparently does not play EBM. So i went to my new kneipe, which was ok, but i normally only go there Friday or Saturday, so the bartender was different. (Well plus my fav bartender got fired a couple months ago for being too trashy on the job.) Then i went to my old kneipe, where the bartender was very clear about the fact that M, who i fucked last weekend in a drunken stupor, had relayed all of my drunken shit about why i had not gone back to my old kneipe any more. Which, appparently, second hand, was "fuck fucking [kneipe x]". Seriously, i can't even remember any more why i decided to ban that bar, but after giving me shit for hating on the place, the bartender is all like "you should come back tomorrow because M's gonna be here", and, really? Fuck [kneipe x] and slutty 40-something-year-old boys who want to see me again on a work night.

I decided to upgrade my weekend fucktoys to boys since i moved to Berlin because they just get in there and do their thing, meanwhile i can choose to not kiss them because girls are way better kissers, and life goes on. Finger-fucking is gender-irrelevant. I like the whole concept of having 10 minutes of entertainment and then going back on the dancefloor again. Club boys are great at that. They're too drugfucked and/or drunk to cum anyways, so the whole thing is just a bit of clean fun. That's exactly what sex should be, in my opinion. I am so, so, so fucking done with the whole 4.5 hour i-love-you-so-much foreplay and fiveplay and roleplay and let's make each other cum a billion times shitty sex that happens when you have a real partner. I mean, it's fun, it's great, it feels amazing, but my God, it will never feel as amazing as spending the exact same amount of time dancing to techno music. Why waste your time, when you can jack each other off in the bathroom for a few minutes, then take a bump (club kids) or have a shot (rockers) and get on with the rest of your night?

Sex shoud be like a bump or a shot. When it's like a 7-course meal, it feels equally as pretentious.

So, you know, welcome to my 35-year-old jaded self.

I can't even remember what my point was, but fuck this shit. I'm getting as drunk as i possibly can get tonight because fuck mutiny on a crew i just joined less than 6 months ago.
Tags: career

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