amw (amw) wrote,

Jesus H.

Normally i leave my TV on all evening from when i get home from work. It's on pretty quiet, and i'll watch a show for a bit, screw round on the net, whatever. It seems i left the volume up a little too high tonight, because now i'm pissed. What the fuck is wrong with college students that they feel the urge to rant and rave and vandalize property and physically assault people? It makes me so angry that i'm living in such a pathetic politically-correct country that the cops can spend all day arresting perpetrators of victimless crimes (drugs etc) but can't smack down a bunch of kids terrorizing universities and attacking law enforcement officers. God forbid they ever arrest the REAL pricks, the ones who are busy making everyone else's lives miserable with their obstructive, obnoxious and destructive behavior.

So up until about 15 minutes ago i was having a pretty good day, and i'd even already opened this window to type in a bit about how i was going... I shouldn't let this crap bother me :( But anyway. So i picked up the car Saturday and it seemed to drive fine to the mechanic. I can't even begin to explain how wonderful it was to be driving down the freeway by myself in my car listening to my music going at my own speed... It was my first time driving alone. I wish i'd done this five years ago, i think it would've helped me feel so much more independent and happy with myself. Ah yes, but five years ago i was one of those pricks stopping traffic, dancing under a Reclaim The Streets banner. I didn't care at the time because i was on drugs and just wanted to dance to the music. That was my first and last "protest" appearance. But that's an aside.

I've been making myself too busy lately... I haven't actually been BUSY, just turning a lot of things over in my mind. First getting the car, then do i want to move out, how can i move out, what's the deal with getting roadworthy on a car, need to get my hair done, need to get my college ready to go, need to see the psych, need to see the doctor... It's been hard to sleep and when i get home i feel kinda burnt out. Latest news from today is the mechanic has taken a look at the car and aside from tires the roadworthy check was mostly smaller things like get a new seat belt (frayed), replace a bulb in the indicator, all that. But of course i didn't get to actually speak to the mechanic, so i still need to call to confirm how long it's going to take and get a ballpark quote and stuff.

Somewhere in between all this i've been to the doctor to get a spot on my back removed. This Friday the stitches will be taken out and he'll attack my stomach too. They're benign, but they break up my ultra flawless sexxy skin and stuff. Also once or twice i've scratched over one accidentally and ended up bleeding and rolling around in pain. Well, perhaps not rolling around. Or in pain. I want the weekend and my Friday night 40s of VB and Total Recall on Saturday night and V8 Supercars on Sunday, yes i do. Hmm. In fact, scratch that. I want T.

You know i often write that i miss her but i don't think anyone reading really knows how much. She is an angel, she's the most beautiful woman in the world and being with her makes me happier than anything. All the time, with all this other crap going through my mind, she's always there, i'm always trying to send her love, hoping that somehow maybe she'll feel me. It's horrible not knowing when i'll be able to get back. It's horrible sinking as much money into a car as it would cost me to get a return ticket back to see her. I wish we had more than the internet and the telephone. I wish i could share the things i'm doing with her, i wish i wish. One fish two fish. I love you T.
Tags: manic, protest, rants, relationships

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