crushedOh, what a fabulous disappointment it is to vote. Or to not-vote, to be more precise. After getting so excited about my opportunity to finally be able to vote, after researching every party in my district, after finding the perfect candidate and the perfect party that represented exactly my philosophy on life... i got to the voting booth and was told that i was not eligible to vote on the "first" or "second" ballots, but only on the "third" ballot. This is the exact opposite of what i had understood from the letter i received. And all my research had been for nought, because two of the minor parties in the "first" and "second" ballots (the Anarchist/Dadaist Bergpartei, die Überpartei and the Trotskyist Partei für Soziale Gleichheit) were not listed on the "third" ballot. Of course, Bergpartei was my clear number one choice, and PSG was my backup vote.
The moment i received my voting card and realized it was the "third" ballot, my heart dropped to the floor. I was choking back tears in the booth. I know it's ridiculous. I know i was going to vote for a party that only exists in my district and many may see as a joke party. But for the very first time in my life that i was ever allowed to vote, after walking into the polling station filled with excitement and pride, i realized i had misunderstood the forms and would never be able to vote for "my" party. I was crushed. I am still crushed.
But i still got a vote. For the "third" ballot, i received a card with all the major parties and minor parties i had already crossed off my list, plus two minor parties whose names i recognized but who i had not deeply researched - the Deutsche Kommunistische Partei (German Communist Party) and the ÖkoLinX-Antirassistische Liste (Eco-Left Anti-Racist List). Of those, i put my X in the circle for ÖkoLinX, mainly because they marched shoulder to shoulder with me in the anti-police demonstration of July 9th. I later looked them up. They win points for their logo being a cartoon explosion with earrings and a raised black fist. They also win points for being active at all the local anti-gentrificiation and anti-racism protests, and for sharing pictures of guys in ski-masks with road flares looking all indignant and rebellious. So, i guess they're alright, even if they are a lot more serious about their politics than the artsy and whimsical Bergpartei.
What does it matter anyway? Now i know my vote is stuck in the "third" ballot bucket, i know it's going to be averaged across the whole borough, so any votes i contribute to here in my anti-capitalist, gutter-punk, formerly-squatted neighborhood are going to be watered down by all the gentrifying millionaires across the rest of the borough who think shopping at a vegan supermarket and donating to an international charity means they are doing their bit for the environment and the poor. Instead of contributing to a 5-6% minority party in my hood, i will be contributing to a (probably) <1% minority party in my borough. Fuck elections. Fuck voting. It all sucks.
Well, i guess i will find out what happens while i am in Canada. I had to do early voting because the election day is September 18th. I am leaving on the 15th. Once i have recovered from the disappointment of my life's first ever vote, i will write about my holiday plans.
