amw (amw) wrote,
amw
amw

  • Mood:

stop, just stop

I need to quit drinking.

I can't let myself get to the point i have done several times in the last month or so where i am seriously thinking about suicide again. It doesn't matter if it's only drunk thoughts. It's thoughts i haven't had in a long time and really don't need to have back.

It's a vicious circle. When i get to the edge of coping, i turn to the bottle. But even if it works for a moment, it leaves me weaker, and even closer to the edge.

I need to get away from this.

I don't know how much longer i can keep it together at work. I wanted to give my guys one year of good management. Now i feel barely able to make it through 18 months at the company.

One year is March. Just 4 more months. I don't know where i will go next, but i can't stay here any longer. I need to be free again.
Tags: crazy
Subscribe

  • who is rubina?

    This Christmas i tried to hunt down some hangover comfort for myself. The older i've gotten, the more hangovers leave me in utter despair. I…

  • i feel the spirit of the world

    HELLO. THIS IS THE SUNDAY. Actually by the time i post this it will almost certainly be Monday, but... eh. I am feeling very techno. I am drinking…

  • what's been going on in that real life of mine?

    I am sitting outside on a bench in the back driveway to type this entry. The weather is still pretty cold, but the past week or so it's been…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments