amw (amw) wrote,

  • Mood:

i literally want to vomit

I don't normally post links to articles here, because that's what Facebook is for. But this one takes the fucking cake: Scraping by on six figures? Tech workers feel poor in Silicon Valley's wealth bubble @ The Guardian.

I (foolishly) read it before work and legit felt queasy all morning. At lunch I opened up the front page to see if anything stupid happened in America and stumbled across the headline again and started ranting and raving at my team I was so sickened and appalled. I posted it on my Facebook and one tech worker acquaintance I added and immediately unfollowed years ago replied with some kind of libertarian apologism about how oh well 100k isn't all that much in the Bay Area wah wah wah fucking rich man tears. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

This is probably the number one reason why I hate working in this industry since 2010ish. Perhaps this kind of selfishness was always a part of the industry and I never noticed, perhaps I was a part of it in my 20s and I was too young and stupid to care... But something has definitely changed. I remember working with several people in Toronto who had this attitude that they were so hard-done-by, and ditto at my last job in Berlin. Even my current job where I have nurtured a team of hardcore SJWs and we are all bleeding heart liberals, there are a few folks on other teams who I know are gunning for the money. It's disgraceful, it's honestly disgraceful.

I don't even know how much I earn. That's how privileged I am. I get paid SO FUCKING MUCH that I can afford to not even care. I don't ever check my bank account. I don't think about what I am spending money on. I just buy whatever I want, whenever I want. Because I know I will never, ever spend more than I earn. (Admittedly I pretty much only spend money on good food and own next to no "stuff", but still.)

I looked it up the other day, because a colleague asked me. I realized I was at about 62k (€). Dear friends, that is a significant pay cut from what I was earning when I lived in Toronto about 4 years ago. But - come on - Berlin is insanely cheap. A pint of beer at the corner store runs about 80 cents. My apartment is about 350-400 per month (not sure exactly how much because, yes, privilege - I don't need to worry). But, you know, although I have the most experience of everyone working at my company, although my boss says I am pretty much the lynchpin and he'd do anything to get me back, I am earning less than the two other team leads who are 5 years younger than I am and 10 years less experienced. Because - unlike them - I am not chasing the almighty dollar. In fact, I told my boss, do not give me a raise or I will leave this job sooner. Every time I get a bonus I donate most of it to my friends and to various "good causes" online because I am ashamed I am getting so much money for sitting on my ass playing with a computer. I respect employers LESS who pay me more, because they are contributing to the salary inflation of tech workers and are essentially agents of inequity.

Of course, I love this privilege. I love never having to worry about money while I work. I love that I can show up to work at 11am with a hangover and ripped jeans and dick around for a few hours and still earn three times as much as my friends who are on their feet all day, breaking their backs for a penny. It's a good fucking life. But it is wrong. It is fucking WRONG. I don't care if the software I build makes a ton of money. It is wrong wrong wrong for people to do what I do and then still complain that houses and childcare and taxes and whatever is so expensive. FUCK THESE GUYS. I cannot even. I cannot. Even. It makes me sick that so many upper-middle class people are so ignorant, or so shameless. It makes me sick that these people are my colleagues and my customers. (Especially my customers, since the majority of my company's clients are tech companies in the Bay Area.) It makes me sick when I look in my bank account and see more money in there than most of my friends earn in a year. This is not right.

My colleagues would say, well that's the way it is. Invest that money. Put down a deposit on a house, or buy some property, or put it in stocks so you will still have a life when you retire. But it's not right. I am not willing to artificially make myself "poor" by sinking my cash into investments. Then I am basically The Man and contributing even more to everything that is wrong in society.

Ugh, it makes me so sick. Money makes me sick. People who chase the money make me sick. And people who have ALL THE FUCKING MONEY complaining that they don't have enough money are pretty much the worst.

Yes, you didn't get a weekend political rant from me, but apparently I'm having a case of the Mondays so bon appétit.
Tags: career, politics, rants

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