amw (amw) wrote,

  • Mood:

why am i getting drunk and watching star trek?

I am exhausted. I spent the whole weekend hanging out with my mom and then headed straight back to work Monday morning. I love my mom, but hanging out with her - like hanging out with anyone - is exhausting. So, basically, I am on my ninth straight day of work, and there are two more ahead of me. I'm taking Friday off, but Thursday is going to count double because I have to go to some after work going away party thing and I am filled with anxiety about it and I wish everyone would just get off my case and let me have one freakin second to myself :(

Sigh. My real life friends and colleagues do tend to see me as a fairly extroverted and bubbly, social person... but I am not sure they realize that it takes literally every scrap of energy I have to be that person. Just doing it five days in a row exhausts me. Two days off is not nearly enough to get back to parity. Hence the downward spiral and eventual burnout.

Anyway, one awesome thing that my mom and I did on Sunday was visit the Stasi museum. It was pretty wild to learn more about the history of the DDR and how nutty the whole thing got as the decades rolled by. It really got me thinking, and I could probably spin a deep politics post out of the experience, but I have no energy.

Monday I went to the Chinese visa place and my application was refused because I didn't have enough supporting materials for my trip. I was pretty deflated, but then a couple hours later the agent I booked my freighter through told me that the ship I was booked on has changed its rotation so I would have to leave May 9 instead of May 2. In the end not getting the visa application in turned out for the best, because it would have been wrong anyways. Tomorrow I guess I will try again with my new booking and a stack more evidence around my travel plans. The Graun is doing a whole series on China this week, which is making me even more curious to visit, so I will be really upset if the visa doesn't come through.

But, basically, I am completely spent. I am exhausted. Two more days. Then clear out all the rest of the stuff from my house and book a hotel and then - God - I feel like I could sleep for a week.

Right. Alcohol and Star Trek. To be continued.
Tags: crazy, family, i am a hermit

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