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sober justice warrior
singapore sunset
Why did i do it again? Did i do it because i'm an alcoholic? Am i that fucking weak?

I went out with the work guys again. And it was predictably awful at first, just talking about work shit, which i would much rather talk about AT WORK where i am actually paid to do it. But oh well because alcohol. Then talking about marriage, and specifically the situation of being in an arranged marriage. That was actually pretty interesting. And an abortion. Yeah, heavy shit.

And then came the "well i told her not to go out wearing that short skirt". Ex-fucking-cuse me? That devolved into an hours-long fruitless (and alcohol-less) debate where i tried to explain why richer, older men telling their poorer, younger wives what to wear in order to avoid getting raped is problematic. I could barely even believe i had to have this discussion in 2018.

Just to put a little icing on the cake, along came the inevitable racism. When these men were confronted with the possibility that they might actually be contributing to rape culture, they instead decided to redirect the blame at the Africans and Muslims who obviously are the real people perpetrating all the sexual violence back in their respective home countries. And - oh - thank God China has solved all those problems.

Seriously, that's literally what these conservative expats think. It's like they haven't even read a single article about the extent of domestic violence and gender inequality in China. Or they have, and they consider themselves as the white (or brown) savior. Nice Guys because they don't hit their Chinese women like those savage Chinese men do. What standards! And gosh, how gentlemanly to "suggest" their wives don't wear a skirt or dress in the perilous cities of Europe. Or India. Or Hong Kong. Or anywhere outside of the this one rich area of this one rich city in mainland China.

So, fucking, canceled. I still have to work with them, so i will remain professional, but i am going to post this entry so i can remember the straw that broke the camel's back. Since it seems the last couple months of douchebaggery didn't get me there yet.

You know, i got no problems drinking once or twice with strangers whose political opinions differ wildly from my own. I can even deal to a certain degree with friends with whom i don't really see eye to eye. But there are some things i just cannot accept, especially when the other party feels the need to endlessly argue the point. People - especially men - thinking it's okay to "suggest" to women what to wear to avoid getting raped? Fucking... Yeah, apparently that's a red line for me.

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Yeah that's some bullshit. I'm with you.

The worst part was when they tried to say they had no choice - it was their moral duty as men to point out to their women when their clothing might invite unwanted attention. I was like... um... How do you even respond to that?

Yeah I wouldn't really know what to say to that. Especially because you work with them. You don't want to like cause a "issue" with the people you work with. That's defiantly a hard issue to deal with.

Aw shit, conservative expats in China haven't changed much since I was a kid then.

Even though I've been dealing with it almost a year now, it still surprises me. It totally busts this popular myth that well-traveled people are automatically more open-minded.

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