You see, i know blessing in the context of a parent giving a kid their blessing with regard to marriage or another big life decision. I also know blessing in the context of something a priest does to water to make it holy. But i had no idea how to respond to "do you want to send a blessing [...] which we will write on the urn". I am not a priest. I can't bless objects. How do you write a blessing anyway? I thought it was some kind of mysterious incantation that people mutter while waving around incense. I found the email from my aunt very confusing.
After looking the term up i still don't really get it. I guess a blessing is a bit like the message you write in a get well soon card? But mom is dead, she was cremated and put in a biodegradable urn. She will live on in my memories and in all of her stories and wisdom that i share with the people i know. Writing her a blessing now feels morbid and weird.
I am going to guess it's something that brings people a sense of closure, but to me it feels... dismissive. Like the email i got from my aunt R after mom passed away and it is all about spirits watching over her or whatever. Dude. Shut the fuck up about angels, my mom just died. I guess she thought it would bring me comfort - or perhaps it was bringing her comfort - but i felt it was playing down the reality.
I have been through phases in my life where i was somewhat spiritual. I mean, i wanted to believe. But i was always more or less agnostic. Like "hey, wouldn't it be nice if..." Somehow in the past few years, though, i think i have turned solidly atheist. Maybe living in mainland China has brainwashed me. I just find superstition and faith tiresome. Life is complex enough without adding more rules on top of it.
Anyway, i did not send a blessing, but of course i have been thinking about mom all day. They are burying her urn in Belair National Park, which is a place i have never been and will probably never go, but there are koalas and kangaroos and stuff. Mom loved hiking and she loved the Australian outback, so i think it's a fitting spot.
Here's a photo of her back in 2012.