amw (amw) wrote,

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do you wanna hear about the deal?

I just discovered i need to take 7 days holiday before the end of the year. I have 12 stocked up, but 5 i can carry over. For some reason i thought i wasn't contractually allowed to take annual leave in the first six months of employment, but turns out i could and i didn't, so now i need to jam a bunch of vacation into the coldest, shittiest part of the year.

So tomorrow i will take a day off to decide how best to take the other six days i'm supposed to take off.

In reality i shall lie in bed with a hangover.

It occurred to me, as i went down the elevator to pick up a few early morning beers from the 24 hour convenience store in my building, that being an illegal drug addict requires putting down roots.

I mean, if you want beer, you can get it 24/7 in most civilized counties. (My adopted country of Canada is not a civilized country - at least not Ontario, where you need to make sure to keep a Beer Guy on call to deliver during the many hours of the week when the government liquor stores are closed.)

Wait. Un-parenthesize that, because that's exactly my point. In Ontario, if you want to be an alcoholic, you need to have a Beer Guy.

I can't remember how i ended up with my Beer Guy. I think i might've gotten a business card from some random at a sketchy afterhours. (Yeah, they got afterhours too, because fuck Ontario.) One dry Sunday i called for a two-four (Canadian slang for 24 beers = a carton), buddy showed up with the gear and became my guy. He delivered late night, weekends, all the times that the government liquor stores were not open. We built up a relationship where he knew my usual orders, he'd let me know when he wasn't going to be in town that weekend, all that stuff. I suppose it was technically illegal, but i am sure he was sourcing from the government liquor stores, so they got their cut regardless.

Illegal drug dealers are the same as the Beer Guy, minus the government cut.

You don't just rock up in a new town and find an illegal drug dealer. Perhaps if you head down to skid row you can get some shitty heroin, or you can go to some hippie district and score some shitty pot, but if you want something less pedestrian then you have to find a proper dealer. You might obtain some pills or powder at a nightclub, but it's not really going to be high quality or habit-forming until you have a proper dealer. And you won't find a proper dealer till you settle down.

I think this is how i ended up becoming an alcoholic by default. Dealers are a pain in the ass to find. And, unless you live in a shitty place like Ontario, you don't need a dealer for beer.

Anywho, my rambling point is that i think one of the ways i have limited my addiction is to live in countries that sell alcohol 24/7. It's a good enough substitute for much better drugs that are much more of a pain in the ass to source.

Occasionally it occurs to me that perhaps not everyone is the same as me. Like, i think about this every time i buy alcohol. I think, "my, this is a shit drug". Then i think, "but it's legal, so meh". The hassle is less. Don't need to know people. Don't need to put down roots. I guess bourgeois folks don't think about that when they are picking out their latest Bordeaux or IPA.

I give money to homeless alcoholics because i get it.

I will probably be one too someday.

Anyway, today's drunken song is Kate Bush. I was a kid when this song came out and i hated it. I hated it 10 years later and 20 years later, even as all my friends held her up as a genius. For many years the only Kate Bush i liked was Utah Saints - Something Good. But now i am old, and i like Kate Bush. Am i finally "adult contemporary"?

Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill

Fuck, this is a really good song, even though it is straight as an arrow.
Tags: alcoholism, i am durnk

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