On the day we got back from Melbourne we dropped by the house of the happy couple for drinks and for me to tell the bride i didn't think i could deal with being a bridesmaid. Well, the bride stopped me before i could say anything and said she'd bought three bridesmaid dresses on a whim, all a slightly different style and she wanted me to try them on before i decided. Well i tried a couple on and felt very ugly and almost had another anxiety attack, though it was a bit easier trying them on in a house with no sales bitch outside the door. And then i tried on the halter neck and lo and behold my shoulders and wide chest slid in just fine and they didn't look broad and even though my belly is squoobly even that didn't feel too bad.
I came out hyperventilating and said i think i might be able to do it in that dress. So i'm going to try. I'm going to try so hard to be girly and pretty and wear that halter neck for a few hours and then get home and get back into jeans and drink myself into a stupor and forget everything and pray to the gods and angels and Xena to make me never have to be a bridesmaid again.
But i'm gonna do it once so noone can say i'm chicken :-)
its all a fucking blur for me.