amw (amw) wrote,

everybody, come on dance and sing

Recipe For Less Depression:
  • force self out of bed

  • have a naughty morning cigarette

  • put on expensive make-up

  • walk to the market

  • eat a macadamia and chocolate cookie

  • drink a Diet Coke

  • buy a pomegranate

  • walk home

  • listen to Madonna

I noticed something today. This suburb is freakishly clean, like almost sterile. In all the other inner-city suburbs i've lived in there's burger wrappers and fits and bottles and baggies and shit all over the place. Here you could just about walk barefoot without worrying. There's no graffiti either. It's kinda unsettling, but kinda nice too because it feels safe at night.

My knees are finally taped. My GP couldn't figure it out, so he sent me to the physio. I really can't afford it, but i also can't afford to lose sleep from the pain any more. The physio is pretty sure she knows what's going on, and she reckons i'm just going to need some therapy and then go to the gym to strengthen up my apparently under-developed inner-thigh muscles. I can't remember the last time i was able to stand up without using my arms to pull me up - or crying out like a little bitch - but this morning i got out of bed just using leg power and it actually didn't hurt too much. I'm gonna feel like a real dick if i've been suffering quietly for the last 5 years and all i needed was taped knees and to do a bit of targeted exercise.

Also at the physio she weighed me. Last time i remember weighing myself was when i was in America, and i think i was around 165 pounds or 74kg. Now i'm 89kg or 196 pounds. I've gone from a small Australian size 10 to the upper end of a size 14. I have legitimate tits now. And my arms aren't concave any more. I don't really notice it because i don't have any new photos of me to compare against the old ones. Sometime soon i need to get out and try take some new photos. Noone outside of Melbourne has seen my hot new hair either! Y'all will be blown away, mark my words. Of course i need hot new clothes to match, but due to no money i'll just have to look trashy wearing my too-small shirts for a while longer.

Now i'm going to look for work. Blargh. I hate being unemployed.
Tags: career, decrepit, depression

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