amw (amw) wrote,


I tend to have a back-to-front stress when it comes to interviews. Preparing for them doesn't worry me too much - it's when i've come out that i start stressing about whether i said the right thing, whether i should've done something about those awkward moments, talked more casually, talked more professionally, shaken their hands firmer, smiled more, met their eyes more, used their names more... Argh!

There is a conspiracy against me playing music at an "inoffensive" volume in this house. J's stereo is fucked and makes disks skip no matter whether they're new or old or anything. It's gotten more fucked over the past few weeks. When i play certain disks in my computer for some reason it freezes up Internet Explorer. It's not all disks and not all the time, so it's gotta be buggy drivers or firmware. But i've updated all the drivers and firmware. So the final option is playing it in my DVD player through the TV in the lounge room. The TV has awful quality speakers, plus it's in the other room, so either it's like listening to a nightclub from the outside (all mushy bass and reverb) or like listening to the radio (all mushy and crackly and thin and weedy). Stupid "hall effects". I need to buy a little tiny ghettoblaster so i can put it next to the computer when i'm in here or cooking dinner and put it in the bedroom when i want to listen to music there.

Ideally i want to buy some monitors and get a cheap CDJ or something so i can listen to music through good equipment. Then i wouldn't have to play it as loud just to hear the fuckin tune. But i can't afford monitors because i spent my synth money on a kickass Firewire-enabled mixer. Poop. I need a job.

I need money. Applying for IT jobs and going to interviews just makes me feel like i'm falling back into this horrible pit of fluorescent lights and air conditioning that makes me sick and rush hour traffic and no time to do anything during the day... but it's money. If i get an IT job i really want to be earning 65k. That'd let me save over 10 grand in a year without lowering my standard of living from what it was in Brisbane. Maybe i can start investing in stock or even just managed funds. Just to have money that's real and accessible whenever i need it. Either that or i'll just live it up right proper with Ferraris and yachts and chix in bikinis and piles of coke everywhere :-)

Is working in a shit job for good money better than working in a less shit job for less money? Hmph.
Tags: anxiety, career, making music, my boring life

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