amw (amw) wrote,

getting old

Reposted from ITM...

So i was looking at a promoter's website the other day and i realized i've been going to raves for like 10 years now. Back in June 1996 i went to my first rave - Liquid Foundation in Nijmegen, The Netherlands. It was a hard acid techno party with lots of live acts. I'd been going to clubs and babbling about raves on the alt.rave newsgroup for about a year before that. Dutch raves were very different from the American phat pants/happy hardcore/ecstasy stuff i'd read about online. Most everyone was in jeans and regular tee-shirts, the drugs of choice were beer and pot, and the music was far from happy. I fit in just fine.

I went to a few more techno parties in Holland, hit the outdoor doof scene in Australia for a few years, then went through a phase of hard house clubbing, before finally in 2003 going to a "traditional" phat pants/happy hardcore/ecstasy shindig. It was groovy. It was also funny, being labeled as the "noob" because i was in jeans. I did buy phat pants eventually - once i realized they're actually really fuckin comfortable - though i never got into happy hardcore. I preferred the hard house clubs. As it turns out, the last rave i went to WAS a happy hardcore thing a few months ago. I was much too tired due to spending the previous night at a prog event. Hardcore can bite my ancient, decrepit ass. Since then i've only been to a few club nights.

You know i barely went out in 1999. Not really because i was over it, but because i had other things in my life that were more important. I didn't go out in 2002 either because i was overseas and i didn't know anywhere to go or anyone to go with. Now i'm in Melbourne, 2006, and it feels like the same thing is happening again. Only this time i'm scared it's because i AM getting over it. Everyone goes on and on about how wonderful the scene is in Melbourne, how it's the clubbing capital of Australia. To me everywhere i've been feels pretentious or clique-y or unfriendly and the music just hasn't excited me. Does that mean i'm over it? Blah. I don't want a shitty happy hardcore gig to be my last ever.

I still listen to all my tunes. I'm still buying plenty. I know i still love to dance. Maybe i just need to get back into that 16-year-old's head where it didn't matter that i didn't know anyone and it didn't matter that it was cold outside because i was just in my fun space. I don't know. I'm cold and i want to go out somewhere cool. Apparently tonight i will be going to a weird multicultural event, which i assume will be more on the bhangra tip than the Bollywood end of things. I hear there may be bellydancers and psytrance. I really have no idea what to expect because it's all hearsay, but that could be a good thing. We'll see. I hope i don't turn into a pumpkin by midnight.
Tags: i am a hermit, looking back, music, raving

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